Demystifying Mediumship: Navigating Boundaries & Compassion

In this episode of the Heart Mind Healing Podcast (S1 E4), Caitlyn is joined by medium Alyssa to explore the world of mediumship. Alyssa shares her journey into mediumship, her supportive circle, and the power of setting boundaries in connecting with spirit. The conversation delves into the intersection of mediumship and religion, the importance of holding space for others, and the emotional impact of this work. Listeners will gain insight into the demystification of mediumship and how it can offer healing and closure. 

Check out Alyssa's website - ⁠https://thefloridamedium.com/

You can listen on Spotify The transcript is below! Caitlyn has bolded/underlined sections she found particularly interesting or helpful.

Caitlyn: Hello and welcome. I am here today with Alyssa the Florida Medium, and we're going to chat a little bit about what mediumship is and is not, and hopefully dispel some myths out there.

Alyssa: Yeah. Hi. Hello.

Caitlyn: Alyssa. Tell me a little bit about yourself and how you got started in mediumship.

Alyssa: Okay. So I like to tell everybody that I never had a chance with spirit. Like, they were like, you're doing this. You don't have a choice. That's what I hear. Yeah, they're very insistent when they want to be. When I was a kid, I had a lot of dreams. Like, people that would pass would come to me.

I had a really traumatic experience with it when I was, like, maybe eight years old, and so it kind of shut me off to it a lot. But there were still things that would come through. And I don't know if you've had this experience, but I came from a very traditional Italian-American household, like Roman Catholic. So they had their own folk beliefs, but outside of them, it was like, no, that's bad. That's the devil. You can't do those things. So whenever I would bring up this experience that I had or try to tell someone about someone that we loved that passed, they'd be like, stop. You don't tell people this.

This is not okay. So it was very fear based for me for a long time. But then I got to a space where I told you I had a lot of losses in a very short amount of time. And that's when everything kind of started coming back full force. And it was beautiful because I would have these dreams of my loved ones, and it was just very calming. It made me feel better. I know that you're not here, but you're still with me. And as I was kind of going through this experience, I made the decision that I needed to stop being afraid of it, because obviously it has value, and it can help serve people.

It served me. It gave me peace. So how can I use it to serve others? And once I made that decision, it was like one thing happened after the other. The path opened up, and everything just started falling into place. Right. Once you get over the fear and everything, the universe is like, thank you. Here you go. I've been wanting to give this to you exactly.

So, yeah, that's kind of where I was at. And I met my mentor, who I love, and he was the one that has been pushing me this entire time. Whenever I do start stepping back into my fear based practices, he's like, no, you're not doing this. Keep moving forward. So I really appreciate that about him.

Caitlyn: Yes. And it sounds like you really surround yourself with supportive people, because you were telling me earlier you have other people in your life who are like no no you’re not stepping backwards, you’re moving forwards.

Alyssa: Yeah, my husband. So my husband came from the south. Like, he's from Gainesville, and so he grew up in the church, which is funny, because you think that we wouldn't connect, but our values are the same, and that's where we found overlap. And I tell everybody, go to Shift Church. Because that's where he goes. And they're so welcoming and accepting. So if you're still in that Christian faith, but you want someone that cares about you and understands what love is, go to Shift Church anyway. Little plug.

Sorry. But. So when I first started getting into it, he was like, what are you doing? And I was Ryan, like, I know you don't think this is a thing, but it's a thing, so just let me roll with it. And he was like, all right. And I love him because whatever crazy stuff I want to do, he supports me. Like, I wanted to raise butterflies. I raised butterflies. I wanted chickens.

He let me have chickens. Like, it's just one thing after the other he lets me do. So this is one of those. And as I was going through this process, he was know, Alyssa, you don't want to hurt people with this. And I was like, first of all, do you think I really want to do that? You think I'm going to hurt someone that is not my mo. Sir, you should know this about me. And then once he saw, because he would listen to the connections that I would make with people, and he would listen to how they'd feel in the beginning of our session versus the end of our session. And then I think he realized the value in it.

Even if he didn't really understand it, he knew that, okay, this is actually happening, and you're helping people. And from that moment, then he was like, all right, Alyssa, let's do it. This is what you want to do. Let's make it happen.

Caitlyn: That's a very similar path to my husband in understanding my practice, because he's a mathematician.

Alyssa: Right? So in their logical mind, this doesn't make sense, right?

Caitlyn: Yeah. So he had to see the evidence, be like, oh, people feel better after working with you. That's a good thing, right?

Alyssa: Well, whether you think it works or not, obviously something is happening here that's making people feel better, and I think in the end, that's all that matters.

Caitlyn: Definitely. So I'm actually glad that you brought this up because it's an interesting question a lot of people have. So mediumship is not in conflict with religion?

Alyssa: I don't think so. Personally. I know that some people might feel that way, but I've had sitters who came from Christianity and were very steeped in their faith who still came and had this experience, and it still was in alignment with what they felt and what they believed. And, I mean, like I said, it's not hurtful, it's not scary. You're just having a phone call with the person that you love. That's it.

Caitlyn: I love that.

Alyssa: Well, that's what I told my sitters. I'm the phone. I'm getting you guys connected. Sometimes the reception is not that great, especially in gaming. Yeah, but that's all I am. I'm just your telephone to your loved one.

Caitlyn: That's really sweet. Oh, my goodness. I just love that visual. So, sitters, is that what you call people that come to you? Yes, I love that.

Alyssa: Because they're sitting.

Caitlyn: Yeah, it's a reminder, like, sort of just like that holding of space.

Alyssa: Right. I'm glad that you said that because that was a big lesson that I had to learn through my journey. And it's something like, this is my pet peeve. I feel like a lot of people that go into mediumship, it's very ego-based. And you forget that you're meeting with these people who are literally, I'm not going to bang on the table, but you're meeting with these people who are at a low point, or they have all these traumas and things that they're working through, and you have to hold space for them. You can't get emotional there. When I first was practicing and getting into it, I had some people who had children that they've lost, and I have four kids, so I had to learn that I can't cry. I understand, right? It's not about me.

I understand and can have empathy for you, but I have to leave space for you to have your feels. I think that's the other thing that bothers me when people come with their ego, is that so many people come with such baggage. I've encountered terrible things that people have had to deal with, and if you're coming in with ego, you don't have space for them to heal.

Caitlyn: Great reminder for compassion. Again, these are people you might walk by at the grocery store thinking, so many of us are carrying these big, and we don't think that that's the thing with.

Alyssa: Yeah, it definitely helped me on my healing journey as I was learning this, because you have to face a lot of things within yourself in order to create space for others. So it helps. Yeah. So it definitely helped me on my healing journey. And I'm not going to lie, I'm still kind of grumpy out in public. Like, I don't like to be bothered, but when we're sitting down at the table and I'm connecting with you, it's a whole different experience.

Caitlyn: And that's why it's finding that balance. You don't have to connect with everybody.

Alyssa: Out in public, right? No, there are boundaries.

Caitlyn: That's too much. Do you get to choose when you connect?

Alyssa: Yes. Okay. That's another pet peeve of mine that people are like, I'm open all the time. That might be true, but that's because you're not holding your boundaries. Like I said in the beginning, I kind of turned it off for a long time because I was afraid. So you can still do that, even day to day. I don't let anything come through unless I want it. I was getting really deep into my meditations for a while, and I was getting a lot of like.

And I said to them, like, you are allowed to come through in my meditation. I'm open. I'm ready for you. Let's go. Let's make it happen. I wasn't clear enough at the time because then they were coming in my dreams and like, yeah, you gotta be really right. So I was like, we're done. Like, only meditations.

That's, you know, I did a reading for Brittany, who works at Heart Mind Healing, and I have my little spiel that I do before my reading, and then I jump right into it, because that's like, the little. I guess, like, marker. They know that once I'm done with this, then we can talk. We've made the container. Brittany was like, you just jumped into it so quickly, I thought there was going to be, like, you were going to be figuring it out for a while. I was, no, that's not how we do this.

Caitlyn: That's really cool. That was actually really interesting to hear from someone who practices mediumship, because that's similar to a technique that I've recommended to some of my more open clients. If you're frustrated with things coming at you all the time, like, set office hours and be like, all right, I am not talking to you outside of these, but here is a specific meditation time. And very good that you clarified. You can't just be like, oh, whenever I'm meditating, because that's a lot.

Alyssa: Yeah, because you're in this sleepy space, so they can figure. Right? They can bend it if they want.

Caitlyn: That's the same. Well, it's like the same brainwave.

Alyssa: Yeah, no. Oh, my goodness. Sorry. I got so excited because I watched this thing recently that was about that, the science. They had the stuff on your people's heads, and they were seeing what happens when people are getting connected. And that's what it is. You're literally in this space in between awake and sleep, and that's where you get all of the. And I just was like, oh, my gosh, the science is finally catching up.

Caitlyn: That's really, really cool.

Alyssa: But I love that you tell people that in your sessions, too. Yeah, that's very important.

Caitlyn: And coming from an empowered space versus a fear based space is so important. And waiting in that response of like, oh, I've got to wait for things to come to me just to happen. Yikes. Carving out those spaces. I love that you have your little spiel.

Alyssa: Well, I think that boundaries is something that people struggle with, just like in day to day life. Right, exactly. And then you're going to add the spirit side of it. That's a lot for people to handle.

Caitlyn: A lot of boundaries. That's why we need these rituals starting it up. Same thing with energy healing. I have my process where I feel the energy start to really flow, and at the end that, like, okay, thank you so much for all that we've processed. Shop is closed.

Alyssa: The five principles of Reiki. Right? Oh, God. Today I will. Do you remember them?

Caitlyn: Are you testing me?

Alyssa: No, I'm not.

Caitlyn: For today only, do not anger. Do not worry. Be humble, be honest in your work, and be compassionate to yourself and others.

Alyssa: I love that because I went through Reiki training, and when I read that, I was like, that connects with mediumship, too, because you need to hold space for people. And I think that's what it is. Just for all energy work.

Caitlyn: Yes. And I love seeing. That's one of the reasons I'm starting this podcast in the first place, is to have people with different modalities so we can see the similarities, see the differences, and see how we can interweave to support all beings who are open to.

Alyssa: Yeah. My cousin does energy healing down in Orlando, and she sends me her clients sometimes, because what we've found is that you hold emotion. Right. And so grief is one of those things that you hold in your body.

Caitlyn: And grief is particularly heavy.

Alyssa: Right. So she sends me her clients who are struggling with their grief or are not understanding. They still have questions about why is this happening? And those questions are affecting them today. And so she sends me her people so that I can help them work through those feelings and work through that grief and get that closure that they need in order to move forward with their life. I guess I love that, too. It makes me feel so good to help people.

Caitlyn: It feels so wonderful just to be supportive, and we don't really have enough of those supportive spaces, spaces where someone can come and have their grief be witnessed instead of like, oh, don't cry. They're there. Which happens in so much of the rest of society.

Alyssa: Yeah, it does well, and just hard things. People don't want to witness hard things. One of my friends was like, I can tell you the worst things, and you're just fine with it. I'm like, well, I'm like, got three Scorpio. Actually, that's a lie. I got, like, five scorpios in me, so I'm all about transmutation. I can hold the space for you.

Caitlyn: I love it. I've got my Libra, sun, and moon balanced.

Alyssa: That's perfect for your Reiki sessions, though, because people are coming to get balanced. I feel so much.

Caitlyn: Oh, my goodness. So can you share, obviously, without any personal details, but, like, one of your favorite sessions where you were like, that was a win. I know. I'm putting you on the side.

Alyssa: Yeah, that's hard. Hold on, I have to think for a second.

Caitlyn: Yeah, take your time.

Alyssa: There's. I'm trying to go back in my brain because there are a couple. There was one where I had this woman who had children in spirit, and they got there in not great way. Like, the trauma that she went through was. Nobody should ever have to do that. But we got through it. We got connected. We figured out what was going on and helped her remember there's a reason she's still here.

There are things still holding her here. And that was empowering for me because I saw how hurt she was, and at the end of the session, she was like, thank you so much. You gave me new hope, and that's what I hope for people, that they come out feeling a little bit lighter.

Caitlyn: I can tell how close to your heart this work is. It looks like you're tearing up.

Alyssa: I'm very emotional. I have all these feelings. So having to turn it off for an hour, I need space afterwards. Honestly, there are times afterwards I just go sit and cry for a little bit.

Caitlyn: Letting yourself process. Yeah.

Alyssa: I mean, you know, the people that you come into contact with, sometimes you just feel for them.

Caitlyn: Yeah. Self care for healers. That's what we need more of. Yeah. And just being able to sit with those emotions and how it shows where you are in your journey, that you're seeing those emotions instead of just shoving them on to.

Alyssa: Yes. It was a long journey.

Caitlyn: We've all done. Yeah. Oh, wonderful. So how can people connect with you? Where can they find you?

Alyssa: So I have a website, thefloridamedium.com, they can also go to.

Caitlyn: So Alyssa actually does sessions online via her website. She also does in person sessions here in the Heart Mind Healing suite.

So in service of demystifying mediumship and what this all means. If you all have any questions, reach out to Alyssa. Reach out to me. If you've got a whole bunch of questions. We'll have Alyssa back on.

Alyssa: Oh, my God. I would love to answer questions I.

Caitlyn: Obviously love chatting with you. So, yes, reach out with questions. There are no stupid questions.

Alyssa: No stupid questions. Yeah. I don't want anyone to feel afraid to ask questions or especially about this. I know a lot of people are scared of it because they're like, what's going to come through? It's unknown. Right. It's scary. So I don't want people to be afraid. I want them to feel safe in this space and that what they're going to get is what they're ready for.

Caitlyn: I love that. And you're such, like a calming and friendly presence.

Alyssa: Thank you.

Caitlyn: Well, thank you so much.

Alyssa: Thank you for having me.

Caitlyn: I'm sure we'll hear from you again soon.

Alyssa: Yeah, absolutely.

Caitlyn: Thank you. Take care.